King Arthur: Legend of the Sword (****)

KING ARTHUR is a story that is probably closer to cliche than we might think. It's been retold so many times and with so many different methods (books, cartoons, live action...) but I would argue that maybe never has it been portrayed with so much energy as this incarnation. Directed by Guy Ritchie (the man behind the recent Sherlock Holmes movies), this is a movie that starts off running and doesn't stop to take a breath along the way.

King Arthur is notable (of course) for the sword in the stone, so justly this is how the story begins. As a child, Arthur is witness to the murder of his parents by his uncle Vortigern (Jude Law). As Arthur escapes the kingdom by boat, Vortigern assumes the throne and begins to build a new empire using his knowledge of dark magic and curses. The sword, Excalibur, later reveals itself after disappearing for so many years, and Vortigern begins a wide search for any man of proper age who can remove it. Think of it like a reverse Cinderella: if the sword fits, you'll be executed.

Right away, Ritchie's direction of this story is clearly something unique. Not only is this movie crammed with exquisite action scenes in remarkable settings, but the entire structure of the movie keeps the filmmaker one step ahead of his audience. Oftentimes a scene is cut together with future events, so that exposition of what is about to happen is coupled with the actual event occurring as it does. It's almost as though we get double the story in half the time. I can see editing like this becoming extremely tiring and annoying to a less-focused member of the audience, but I found it entirely thrilling.

Also thrilling is Jude Law as the King, Vortigern. He conspires with dark forces just below the castle (including a remarkably disturbing octopus/woman hybrid) who work to give him power but at a cost. Vortigern is concerned not with the morality of any given situation, rather to remain in his seat of power. Is he a worthy foe to be paired off with Arthur (Charlie Hunnam)? Maybe. Hunnam's character is your typical action star: single-minded, boring, not memorable. Jude Law makes a character that is both sneaky and sinister with ease. My only concern is a final duel between the two in which Vortigern is masked behind devil horns and a suit of armor. In the climax of the film, I would have preferred to see the face of our villain and not the body of a stunt double.

Although this is a movie that has received less than it's fair share of praise, I can only say that I found it great entertainment compared to other summer offerings so far this year. The film's score is unique, breathy, using an array of sounds and instruments to create memorable moments. The visual effects are convincing and help us believe in this world just off-center of reality. Each action scene is approached in a different style, and the camera is constantly moving back and forth and in and out until our eyes begin to spin from the excess. While it's not perfect, King Arthur is still a lot of fun.

Baywatch (**1/2)

We've seen this movie a million times. There's nothing particularly original this time around, and especially considering it's based on the camp 90's TV show, it only contributes to this year's extensive run of 'movies-based-on-old-TV-shows.'  BAYWATCH isn't unwatchable, especially in the moments where it is self-aware of its own silliness. Would I recommend it? No. Can you sit through it? Of course.

Mitch Buchannon (Dwayne Johnson) runs a baywatch team in costal Florida as though it's the Marines. His staff is trained in everything but hand-to-hand combat, and the waitlist to join the team is long with each new Summer season. Candidates must complete a rigorous physical test in order to qualify, and from there only 3 recruits are hired on. One of them is Matt Brody (Zac Efron), a blue-eyed beauty who has won 2 Olympic gold medals and is cocky in his confidence with the job. During his last Olympic relay, he threw up in the pool and lost his team a medal. Now he's broke and looking for work.

Essentially the movie becomes a focus on the rivalry/friendship between these two men. Sometimes it's funny, but usually it's not. After discovering bags of drugs on the beach, Buchannon decides to take on his own personal investigation to bring whatever criminals to justice. When Brody asks why they don't just call the police (just like the majority of sane audience members will), there's some baloney reason about values and "doing the right thing." Whatever that means. What follows is a crime comedy that's so by the book and cliched that we can all but recite specific dialogue at any given moment. The funniest parts come when, well... I'm not sure what the funniest moments were, but I will start by saying that the gaggle of penis jokes were not among the highlights.

We also have a forced romance between Brody and a wide-eyed fellow recruit, the comic relief who is overweight and has an excess of nipple hair, the lowpoint where Buchannon is fired and finds a job at Sprint, Zac Efron in inexplicable drag, and then about 6 or 7 additional penis jokes for good measure. David Hasselhoff and Pamela Anderson even make cameos in the film, through their scenes are equal parts confusing and lacking in laughs. I give this movie two and a half only because it's so darn silly. Silly as in "laughing at it," not "laughing with it." This isn't a movie that was designed to be anything more than a farce. You chuckle at the stupidity of it all. Hey, if the movie wasn't 2 hours long I might have been even more favorable about it.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales (*1/2)

This is low entertainment, plain and simple. Frankly, spending any more time mulling over this failed franchise would be an exhaust of energy and brain power, but here it goes. What began as a fresh and surprising popcorn flick back in 2003 has gone the way of all (most) movie franchises: decrepit, tired, stale, boring; shots in the dark that try to hit the same mark twice.

Jack's back years later to help Will Turner's (Orlando Bloom) son find King Poseidon's Trident (I'm not kidding) in order to spare his dad (Orlando Bloom) from the dreaded curse of a lifetime at sea. They join gangs with a moppy-headed girl named Carina (Kaya Scodelario) who has been sentenced to death for having learned the scientific method and also being knowledgable at stargazing. She also seeks the Trident (I think) because of a reason I've long forgotten. The gang meets up in jail, each sentenced to death for various reasons. Instead of logically breaking out the night before when they had the chance, they figure a last-minute rescue would make a better action scene. We're left with a scene in which a guillotine blade yo-yo's back and forth at Captain Jack's neck while Moppie and the Orlando-wannabe swoon over each other in the grasp of a noose.

The villain is Captain Salazar (Javier Bardem) who is a poorly-rendered ghost missing the back of his head. His army is made up of similarly-themed spirits, some of whom are missing legs, others are merely floating arms. Salazar wants to find Jack Sparrow (and also the Trident) because of plot. It's inexplicable. He blatantly runs into Orlando #2 in the first scene and tells him to find Jack Sparrow (how curious that two men from opposite sides of the world run into each other in the ocean looking for the same character?) through thick heavy Spanish accent. "Jeeehkkk Es-Sssspawwlow." Later, he joins forces with Captain Barbosa (he's back) to help speed up the adventure. Mayhem ensues. We meet a Witch who works with the British army to help track our heroes, but the screenwriter forgot about her midway through the film and the character oddly disappears without a trace.

The original film, though riddled with ghosts and curses, still felt somewhat grounded in a swashbuckling world in which the hero always wins no matter what. That idea has been so warped and distorted by this point that we literally watch a scene in which 6 horses pull an entire 2-story building down the streets by the reigns. Picture that: a 2-story building is being pulled down dirt roads by half a dozen horses. On the roof, Johnny Depp sword fights and jokes his way to safety. What? The two lead characters (carbon copies of Kiera Knightly & Orlando Bloom) lack all the charisma and charm that made the first film a success. The problem rests mostly in the writing and directing (and the fault falls on no less than 2 directors this time around).

The movie feels fake, as though a fan of the Pirates series sat down and tried to write a movie based on what he remembered off the top of his head. "Jack Sparrow is drunk," "crazy CGI villains," "where's the rum?," and "crazy action galore!" What's missing is a heart, a brain, and the courage to say no. Should this film have been made? Did we need a Pirates #5? I would argue that we stopped needing more after #1. Why ruin something so good in the first place?

Obit (***1/2)

In a small corner in the New York Times building sits a handful of journalists who have the distinction of writing the obituary sections. They are in many ways the black sheep of journalists, seemingly banished to this desolate section of reporting with no claims to fame or fortune. OBIT is a good documentary in that it shines a light on this career path that few (if any) have ever given serious thought to. If only the movie could have figured out what it wanted to say.

The documentary is a charming little piece that analyzes a few days in the lives of this team of misfits. Unlike the traditional obituaries you might find in your local paper ("Jane Doe passed away peacefully to the Lord leaving behind her daughter and three grandchildren..."), these are journalists who take their jobs very seriously, oftentimes resorting to cold-calling to verify information on the deceased and craft catchy stories that are meant to draw its readers in. Since it's the New York Times, the staff is selective about who they publish. Celebrities and politicians, yes. Obscure folks from the surrounding suburbs? No way - unless they have some claim to fame (we are told that the obit for the man who invented the Slinky was more popular than the leader of the Soviet Union at the time).

We focus in on one reporter who is trying to draft a piece about a political advisor who is best known for applying the makeup to John F Kennedy during his Presidential Debate against Richard Nixon, makeup that invariably made him more photogenic on TV and allowed him to win the election (as some would argue). He makes calls to the man's wife and argues with his editors to feature this obituary on the front page. We also intercut with "the Morgue," an expansive room of filing cabinets filled with newspaper clippings featuring perhaps millions of people, all filed by name, all there just as a reference in the off-chance someone kicks the bucket. The man who runs the Morgue is a character in and of himself. The room is a clutter of rust, narrow hallways, and yellowing papers, and he is the only one who understands the logic behind it all. He even shows us pre-written obituaries that are kept on file in the event of a celebrity's untimely death. Ronald Reagan had his first obituary drafted well before 1980.

In the end, the movie chooses to focus on the paper's historical writings related to celebrities: Michael Jackson and the like. Filmmakers clearly didn't see a way to make an invigorating film without drawing on the pop culture aspect, and perhaps this is rightfully so. The movie is thoroughly charming in the way we meet these characters going about the routine of life, and it isn't until the end that we get a taste of the movie this could have been. A final montage of life, invention, scenery, faces, emotion all whir past us in a frenzied marriage of music and images. It does no less than sum up the value of human life itself and attempts to put a poignant cap on a movie that in no way tried to narrate a story so profound. It's a stunning conclusion to a less-than-stunning movie, but in the end I still found myself moved by the idea that all life has purpose. As one of the editors comments near the end of the film: "have I done anything with my life that would make my own obituary stand out?"

A Quiet Passion (*****)

A QUIET PASSION is a movie about intellect and wits. It's an account of the latter years of the life of Emily Dickinson, a woman whose poetry didn't become famous until after her death. It's fortunate that the film chooses to focus more on the woman than her process, because by all accounts the art of poetry is in and of itself incredibly subjective. What we witness instead is something all the more potent: a movie about the inevitability of death.

Terence Davies writes and directs this film with the sensibility of a theater director. In fact, many scenes play out in long, slow, panning shots, and actors overspeak dialogue as though trying to accommodate for audience members in the back row. Perhaps it's in keeping with the vernacular of Civil War-era Massachusetts. Perhaps it's a flourish of the director. Who knows. We learn everything about the Dickinson family just by the way they speak. With each "good day" they respond with a compliment. With each retort they snap back with wit and charm.

Emily Dickinson, herself, lived out her life in the solitude of her own home throughout her life. As played by Cynthia Nixon, she doesn't fear how big the world is - rather she willingly avoids it to focus on her work. Her sister Vinnie (Jennifer Ehle) is never far away, and the two share kindred spirits about the idiosyncrasies of religion and men. Ehle, who has had many small parts in the past, lights up the screen as a sister so full of love and compassion. It's like the great character of Melanie from Gone With The Wind (another selfless character as defined by Olivia DeHavilland); we may find flaws to critique, but always we know her to be a person of towering strength.

Nixon, herself, is the film's crowning achievement. What little we know about Emily Dickinson is revealed in so many wonderful moments that dig deep at the heart of this character with no more than a couple spoken words. In fact, the entire screenplay by Davies is a masterful work of charm and development. I can't think of one scene out of place, one word misspoken. What amazed me was how concise the drama was and how clever each scene found a way to end. Nothing is extraneous. There's a brief scene in which Emily and her father pray before a meal. Her father notices that the plate is dirty, and her smart response is to break the plate with a smile. "Now it's no longer dirty." Later on, Emily (now a recluse of her bedroom) is informed a houseguest is leaving. Vinnie tells her to come down, that "our guest is soon to depart." Emily simply asks "from this life?"

Even though we never really reach the heart of this elusive woman, the film wisely narrates sequences with Dickinson's actual poetry to highlight the emotional impact that simple visuals cannot. Even in the end, when Emily has died and her grave is being lowered into the ground, her words echo over a rainy landscape about how Death has finally stopped for her. There's something so hypnotic about this film, so absolutely wonderful and charming and enigmatic. It's a biopic of the highest order that chooses to bypass nearly all the traditional tropes of the genre. The end result is no less powerful.