Kingsman: The Golden Circle (***)

KINGSMAN: THE GOLDEN CIRCLE is one of those movies I began to forget about the moment I left the theater. Writing this review two days later, I wonder if I even remember all the key set pieces and witty one liners. In the end I doubt it matters, because my initial reaction is still just as valid: this is a silly movie.

Kingsman follows up on the 2014 film that saw a reinvention of the James Bond character, this time with more language, violence, and sex. The sequel of course follows the normal route that all sequels have in Hollywood: more language, more violence, more sex. It makes sense. This film is less about the origins of a character than it is seeing how a secret organization works in full swing. The only problem is that the Kingsman are utterly annihilated within the first 30 minutes of the movie. Wiped off the face of the earth by an unknown villain, the British team (led by Taron Egerton) travel to the United States to meet up with Statesman (a country-style organization run by the most American man there is: Jeff Bridges. He's in all of 5 minutes of the movie, by the way).

Along the way, Eggsy (Egerton) run unto his old mentor, Hart (Colin Firth) who has had amnesia ever since being shot by Samuel L. Jackson in film #1. There are scenes that flashback to the original film, reminding us of what happened and why. There are also a smorgasbord of action scenes in quick succession that felt more like a seizure than a coherent plot. They travel the globe to discover our villain, Poppy (Julianne Moore), a quirky 1950's-diner-loving lady who camps out in South America and pushes her enemies into the meat grinder. She runs the largest drug cartel in the world and plans to kill everyone who takes these drugs unless her demands are met. Why all of her scenes are filmed in a Johnny Rocket's diner are bizarre. It's nothing compared to a musical prisoner she has kidnapped to perform for her (hint, it's Elton John). Scene after scene we see John prancing around the jungle wearing his 5" platform boots. It's silly, bizarre, and yet at times quite funny.

The movie is fine for what it is. It doesn't take itself too seriously, nor should it. The villainous plot is so baffling that you just have to sit back after a while and accept this movie for what it is. This is no James Bond, but neither is it Austin Powers. It's a hyper-charged array of zooms, tight close-ups, and bloody action. I didn't even mention Channing Tatum, Halle Berry, Mark Strong, Emily Watson, or Pedro Pascal, all sidekicks along the way with characters each zanier than the last. I am not a fan of action movies in general with few exceptions. "Kingsman" did little to sway my vote. At the same time, I had fun, despite a mind-numbing 2.5 hour run time. There are worse movies you could find yourself watching right now.