Unlike all Star Wars sequels, this one takes place in the immediate aftermath of the previous one, with Rey (Daisy Ridley) finding Luke Skywalker (Mark Hamill) to convince him to join the Rebellion and possibly learn the ways of the Force. Meanwhile, The Rebellion itself (led by Leia, Carrie Fisher, in her last on-screen performance) is being relentlessly pursued by the New Order. The set up makes sense and we understand which characters are which and who is who... It's just about everything else that felt misled.
Right away, the film opens with a spectacular space battle in which bomber ships attempt to blow up a Star Destroyer (I didn't realize there was gravity in space). While one ship would do the trick, the Rebels send out virtually every fighter ship they own and then suffer the consequences shortly after. Outgunned and unable to jump to hyperspace, our 'action' is a slow-paced chase sequence in which the Rebel ship must keep a certain distance from the enemy in order to make their weapons fire ineffective. Couldn't the enemy, I don't know, make their ships go a little faster? The Rebels are led by the new Admiral (Laura Dern, who sports purple hair because... it takes place in space?), a strong fighter but a leader who lacks the trust of the entire crew.
Meanwhile, Finn (John Boyega) and a new sidekick, Rose (Kelly Marie Tran) take an illogical journey at the advice of Poe (Oscar Isaac) to find a 'hacker' who can help disable the main Star Destroyer and the heroes can make their escape. This entire sequence takes place on a Las Vegas-inspired planet that feels like the worst of the George Lucas prequels and offers nothing to the actual plot at hand. As I watched this sequence in which Finn and Rose ride horseback and then try to find a free slot machine to gamble on, two thoughts crossed my mind: this isn't really happening, and this could have been cut.
In fact, much of this film could have been cut. At 2.5 hours, it's the longest Star Wars installment yet, and boy do we feel it's run time. The last hour feels like one climax after the other, and on more than one occasion I was fully prepared for the film to end. What could have been cut? There's too much to say, since most of our heroes are sent on side missions that contribute nothing to the overarching plot and would change not one single aspect of the movie if the scenes were cut. Even Rey, who learns the ways of the force, makes some shocking discoveries in the company of Luke, spoilers not to be mentioned here. We meet old villains (the silver Storm Trooper is back, what's her name again?) and old friends (C-3PO and R2D2 who are so shamelessly tacked on to this movie simply for nostalgia), but the constant theme at hand is one of overkill.
To diagnose this film's problem, we must look to Disney, a company so calculated and by the book that I am surprised they approved a screenplay with so many inconsistencies and uncomfortable humor (and let me tell you, they try to squeeze in a lot of comedy here, and every single joke falls flat. Every. Single. One.). Our director, Rian Johnson, wrote and directed this monster of a movie and I wonder why no executives, supervisors, cast members, or the director's wife stopped him to explain what Star Wars is supposed to be about. "Force Awakens" set up a lot of mystery (Emperor Snoke, Rey's family, etc.) and I read that there was no overarching story designed that encapsulated all three films. They were "winging" it with each new screenplay. This means that Johnson could essentially write whatever film he wanted, and boy did he churn out a whopper. That is ever so apparent here, where Johnson clearly discarded much of the intrigue of film #1 in attempts to start over fresh. There is so much death, battle, and finality in this middle chapter that the end felt more like a conclusion than anything else.
Where do they go from here? We have one more film to go, and from what I saw, there is virtually no way to resolve this story effectively. What our director has done is a selfish move: made a film for himself that betrays the very idea of Star Wars and in the end becomes a movie that is laughably bad in both construction and design. We have a few "good" parts (there's a silent jump to light speed near the end of the film is a truly awesome moment... You will know when it happens) and a few good special effects (not all), but the characters have been given dialogue that feels ripped from a soap opera, one liners that confuse the story tonally, and a never ending barrage of action, saccharine, and nonsense that results in a mess of a film. I wish I could say more about LAST JEDI, but frankly I don't have the strength. Would I advise this film? See it again, I would not.
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