My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 (*)

The gang is all back in the surprisingly-delayed and unrequested sequel to one of the most successful independent films of all time (My Big Fat Greek Wedding still remains the highest-grossing romantic comedy of all time, 5th highest grossing film from 2002, highest grossing film to never be #1 at the box office, and is quoted as being one of the most profitable films ever with a 6,150% return on budget). It's a wonder it took them so long to milk this cash cow a little further.

The plot, as the title suggests (though isn't there a funner way to title the movie? I thought long and hard and came up with "My Bigger, Fatter, Greekier Wedding." Not bad, right?) follows our protagonist, Tula (Nia Vardalos) 17 years after the original. A lot has changed, but not too much. The punchline of the first film showed the newly-weds moving into the house next door to Tula's parents. In this film, nearly the whole block is occupied by the Portakalos clan. It's a wonder the local gawkers haven't been asked to relocate yet.

You may remember Tula working as a travel agent, but given the current economy, we learn there is no need for such luxuries in the current Chicago market. Low and behold, she has retreated back to the family's restaurant. Talk about coming full circle.

The titular wedding comes from Tula's parents, Gus and Maria, who find out through a bit of digging that their marriage 50 years ago was never certified by a priest. Cue wedding dress shopping montage. The additional drama comes from Paris, Tula and Ian's daughter, who is deciding whether to go to college in Chicago or flee to New York to claim sanctuary from her looney extended family.

Tonally, the film is very much identical to the original, which is surprising given how little I enjoyed this film. Where the original found humor in the observations of a stereotypical Greek Orthodox family and an outsider's introduction to such a culture, the sequel lags and lags on jokes we already know. Windex cures all, the root of every word is Greek, and Aunt Voula is as zany as ever. Nia Vardalos in the leading role (and returning as screenwriter (the original earned her an Oscar nomination, no less)) is absolutely lost and a clunker of a star. Originally playing it relatively straight amidst the humor, here she gives way to potty humor and overacting galore. In the original, the film was charming and found humor through it. Here, she has written a weak comedy that she thinks will have the same effect.

For being a sequel 14 years in the making, the production felt very rushed, and editing down to camera work is noticeably lacking. The script throws everything but the kitchen sink at us, including a tacked on bit where Joey Fatone reveals himself as gay on the morning of the wedding. Why, I am not sure. John Stamos was billed as a new addition to the cast (fairly genius casting given the film) but phones in a performance of about 5 minutes and promptly is never seen again.

After the flop of the TV show (remember the season run of My Big Fat Greek Life?) and the poor reaction to this year's sequel, I think it has become clear that the 2002 hit was simply a flash in the pan, a film that stood on its own despite the studio want to squeeze every last nickel out of it's teat. Hollywood today is driven largely by sequels and reboots and cinematic universes. Maybe in 5 or 10 years we will see a remake. Sometimes though, lightning can only strike once.