OUR RATING SYSTEM
(*****) = do NOT miss! This one is as good as they come.
(****) = Fantastic - It's worth the price of the ticket (and then some).
(***) = Average - Nothing really bad, nothing really spectacular...
(**) = Perhaps you should find another movie to see.
(*) =
The bottom of the barrel. It would be hard to find something less entertaining or more unworthy of your time.



Maureen
(Mo) holds a PhD in marine geophysics (Dr. Maureen, to you) and works for the U.S. Geological Survey in Santa Cruz, CA. Maureen enjoys the outdoors (skiing, swimming, hiking, camping), dogs, cooking, singing, getting into (and out of) uncomfortable situations, and most importantly, watching quality movies. She makes a point of seeing as many Oscar-nominated films as possible each year and (correctly) predicting the winners. Her role on this blog is primarily as an advisor, collaborator, and "chime in"-er.

John (Jo) holds a Bachelor's Degree in Nursing, as well as a Bachelor of Arts degree in Film Studies. He currently lives in Chicago, Illinois and works as a nurse. His one true obsession in life is movies... The good, the bad, and everything in between. Other than that, he is busy caring for his cat, painting, writing, exploring Chicago, and debating on whether or not to worship Tilda Swinton as a deity. John is the master and commander and primary author of this blog.

Saturday, May 20, 2017

Alien: Covenant (**1/2)

What happened to the simple and effective horror movies like the original ALIEN from 1979? That is nearly a perfect film which has a simple story that engages its audience like no other. What about it's sequel, ALIENS, an action tour-de-force that begins with the slightest sense of dread and builds and builds with each new scene? "Covenant" isn't a remarkably bad movie if you look at it on its own merits, but it's nothing particularly good either. If the first two Alien movies were a bacon cheeseburger, then Covenant is a half-empty bottle of ketchup.

The movie serves as a direct follow up to Ridley Scott's "Prometheus", this time following a colonizing freighter as it journeys through space in search of a habitable planet called Origae 6. An android, Walter (Michael Fassbender), remains vigilant as he monitors the ship and its upkeep, but an unexpected accident forces him to wake up the small crew in order to mend damages and whatnot. Suddenly, they intercept a weak radio signal from a nearby planet (also inhabitable) that indicates human life. Logically, the ship carrying 2,000 souls makes an abrupt course change and decides that this new mysterious planet is a better option for colonization. In a mission that is 10 years long and with a ship carrying so many people and assets, the rationale is remarkably poor.

Of course they arrive and begin to explore the planet. It's lush, green, but under a constant ionic cloud that keeps the planet dark and prevents communication with the mothership waiting in orbit. From space it looks like a raging hurricane, but on land it's merely a slight cloud coverage. Nonetheless, those on the ground encounter a communications blackout. Convenient. As they journey through the forests to find the source of the signal, they notice that there doesn't seem to be any life whatsoever. No birds, no animals, no nothing. The group breaks up, can you believe it? One stays behind to collect samples from a nearby slop of mud, and the rest journey on to discover an abandoned spaceship and a host of spores, eggs, and dead bodies. Oh my!

The film is remarkably photographed, and I mean that in the best way. It's a gorgeously shot and paints a picture of a planet just off-center of ordinary. Likewise, there are some okay effects to behold, most remarkably a scene in which Walter meets David, the android from the previous film, and the two share a flute and play music. Obviously both are played by Michael Fassbender, but the way the camera moves back and forth and the two interact with each other, it's a remarkable moment of CGI that we barely even notice.

As for the movie itself, it's burdened with plot and backstory that expects us to use logical thinking to piece things together when all we want are some gooey, bloody monster action. In fact, the 2-hour film barely devotes the last 45 minutes to actual sightings of the actual alien, something the trailer made is so excited to finally see. the crew discovers an ancient alien race that has all but died on the planet, and they meet the android, David, who becomes increasingly unhinged in his discussions about alien life and his quest for perfection. When Fassbender isn't on screen (the actor being one of the film's big highlights) we face characters making dumb decisions, accidentally dying, or crying about what a mess they have found themselves in.

The first "Alien" kept it simple: run from the alien. It tapped into basic human fears of dark places and sounds in the night. I'm not sure what category "Covenant" falls into, because it's surely not horrific and it's far from being a thought-provoking piece of science fiction. I admired the film's first half, especially the opening scene in which David and his creator (Guy Pearce) discuss a search for God and life's ultimate meaning. It's good writing, and it posed a question I was looking forward to being analyzed in the rest of the film. Not the case. Here is a movie burdened down by characters with nothing to do, sets with nothing to see, and drama without any real stakes. It's all the more disappointing because the first hour is a perfectly suspenseful bit of dread and growing terror. Too bad that when it comes to a conclusion, we realize it wasn't so scary after all.

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